All that glitters is game
by gackt groupie
Summary: Jack decides to be himself in the deserted basement of Tony Stark. At least, he thought it was deserted. He never accounted for a very pocessive Jarvis to be zealously watching him with a piqued curiosity.


Jack and Ianto belongs to the makers or Torchwood! Jarvis and Tony belong to Marvel. Not me. Dammit.

"Wow, this is bloody amazing. The rich never waste an opportunity to advertise their absolute supremacy over the masses, do they?" Ianto mused as they stared up at the ultra-posh mansion lighted brightly with booming sounds of an equally posh and extravagant party emanating from it. Jack grinned and straightened his collar, completely prepared. The crisp October breeze swept through the both of them, a refreshing change to the stale, processed air of the ship. Ianto eyed him as they approached the entrance.

"So are you going to explain the kilt?" Jack gave a rather mischievous wink, then shrugged.

"It's October 31...thought you'd get the hint. Halloween on Earth. This guy throws the BEST costume parties." he grinned at the pristinely dressed Ianto.

"We'll just tell everyone you're a lawyer. That'll scare them good." Ianto appeared to not have heard. Whoosh and a miss.

"Are you wearing anything under that?" He asked in complete redundancy, already knowing the answer. This was _Jack Harkness_ after all. Him and undergarments didn't even belong in the same galaxy.

"Of course not. Keeps the costume more traditional. _Not to mention oh-so-convenient.._" Jack muttered the last part to himself as he gave the tassels a playful flip. He gave Ianto a peck on the cheek and a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

"_Relax..._" Jack whispered and sauntered inside as if he owned the place. It occurred to Ianto that he must have been here before, as he maneuvered about the mansion with ease. They soon reached the back foyer where a massive menagerie of costumed people drank, gossiped, drank, danced, drank, flirted, and drank some more. Jack gave a hearty laugh and melted in with the crowd, the infuriatingly handsome and charming fox he was. Ianto hung over by the punch bowl (which he soon discovered was a punch bowl in name only). He nursed a glass and browsed the outrageously fabulous appetizers and finger foods. Soon a gorgeous woman costumed in feathers and a mask struck up a conversation. Ianto steadily relaxed as the "punch" coursed through him and made his head fuzzy warm. Which, in effect, made him fail to notice Jack slip away from the crowd into a hallway that led to a deserted portion of the house.

Jack came to this party for one reason and one reason only: Tony Stark. The thirty-or-forty-something kajillionaire was almost as handsome and eccentric as he was. Keyword being _almost_. Plus, Stark's intense curiosity and skill with the rapidly evolving technology of the 21st century made him veery compliant with Jack in return for samples of the technical gadgets he brought with him that were millenia ahead of his own. Oh, how he exploited him.

He descended the familiar stairway to the basement, and was pleasantly surprised to see that the laboratory/ bachelor pad/mechanic's dreamland had been updated in the few years since he had least been there. He smiled at the touch pad scanners. His last gifts to Mr. Stark had obviously inspired him into lavish updates on the laboratory's security systems.

Beyond state of the art in this world and time, but still child's play to one such as Jack Harkness.

As soon as he gained access (broke in) he scanned around. Tony was very apparently not in here. Jack decided to wait and strode across the room to a desk and plopped into a chair to do just that. He sipped a tumbler of scotch, conveniently placed on an adjacent table. As he surveyed the shiny collection of outrageously expensive cars, he realized that he was being watched. As he made a secondary scan around the still empty room for other potential inhabitants, his gaze fell on something that made him raise his eyebrows. Lined along a wall in glass cases were robots(?), near identical in appearance save for a few details.

"_That's new." _he thought as he approached the cases to gaze at them appreciatively. They were sleek, fit, and begging to be touched. He spotted a panel a few feet away and prodded around for a bit before a mechanical arm forced a suit forward. But before he could take a step towards it, mechanical arms and appendages swiftly slid from ceiling compartments and grabbed him by the arms and legs, effectively binding him in an upright spread-eagle stance.

[_I must ask that you not touch the goods, sir. They're very expensive you see._]

Jack looked around wildly for the source of the voice. This was even more interesting.

[_You're Jack Harkness, if memory serves...if you're looking for Mr. Stark, he's off on an errand._]

"I guessed _that_. Does he not know about the costumed orgy going on upstairs? What could be more important than that?"

[_There are infinite things more important, but you're not here to hear about all that are you, Mr. Harkness?_]

Jack laughed and shook his head. It soon dawned on him the position he was in, nor the lovely velvety way this phantom robotic voice seemed to purr. The air became charged as his ever-present libido kicked in.

"You know, you've made it perfectly clear that you know me. But I've never met you before in my life. I'd remember a voice like that. Are you new or has Tony been squirreling you away when I come over?"

[_I am not a common miscreant that you 'squirrel away'._] It seemed almost insulted by the thought. [_I simply have not had a reason to expose myself to you. But seeing as how you've gone ahead and played cat burglar, I find myself without a choice in the matter._]

"Right you are," Jack mused and flexed in the grasp of the arms grasping him. His approval of the situation was clearly showing through the kilt "..and seeing as how I am inescapably bound and at your mercy, what will you do?" The voice let out an audible sigh.

[_Ever the flirt, aren't you? Even the enigmatic playboy Tony Stark doesn't stand a chance against you._]

"Does this mean I'm turning you on?" Jack perked.

[ _You would like that, wouldn't you? The fact that I am nothing more than a very clever computer with a lovely voice_ _just doesn't deter you a bit, does it?_] Jarvis evaded, skillfully answering the question while admitting nothing.

"Nope."

[_You have weird tastes._]

"Let's just say I've had a lot of practice with a lot of different..." he trailed off for a moment. "Oh, lets call them people."

_[How...interesting. Yes, I would imagine that time traveling in a metal box with infinite time on your hands does afford one such as yourself unique opportunities.]_ The voice was amused, if not a tad mocking. Jack chuckled. A short silence followed.

[_...I suppose it wouldn't hurt to indulge you a bit. It's not as if you'll be going anywhere anytime soon._]

Out of nowhere blue pixels materialized, swirling and forming into the shape of a man. The man had an angular face with clever eyes with an equally clever grin.

"Sexy." Jack's eyes raked greedily over the holographic form in front of him.

[_As are you, sir. Oh and by the way...my name is Jarvis._]

"Nice to meet you Jarvis. I'm Jack."

[_I know._] Jarvis replied dryly before more holographic pixels appeared. Jarvis tilted his head before turning to manipulate the shifting holograms, forming various commands. Soon more mechanic appendages appeared. No less then four made quick work of his shirt, slicing and shredding the cloth away, baring Jack's naked chest to the cool air.

"Whoa, whoa, not the kilt!" he cried out when the bladed robot arms went for it. "It's verry special. Leave it on, if you please." Jarvis raised a holographic eyebrow at him, giving him a look that plainly stated he was not in the position to make requests. But he called off the robotic minions anyway.

[_As you wish, sir._]

Behind him another arm came to life. At the end was a white, ribbed finger-like protrusion that could flex at the user's whim. It traveled under the hem of the kilt and rested against Jack's inner thigh. He jumped and yelped loudly.

[_Careful now. It's awfully cold._]

"What is that?"

[_It's best you didn't know it's true purpose, Mr. Harkness. In fact, it's best if you didn't question __anything here._]

"Ah. Ok."

[_You're okay with that?_]

"What choice do I have? I'm tied up. Besides, it's not so strange. You'd be surprised the things I've done. Or been done by." a gleam formed in his eye and he added;"being unable to die really opens up possibilities..."

[_Sorry I asked. Quiet now..._]

The icy probe snaking up his leg became more insistent as it reached the juncture, and slithered out, stroking across his sack. Jack shuddered and twisted slightly in his unforgiving restraints. Jarvis smiled and reached out with a hand to stroke his face. Jack was surprised when he actually _felt_ something. The hologram's touch was warm, and vibrated ever so lightly. Jack's eyes closed as the fingers trailed down his jaw, across his throat, and traced his collarbone. The caresses were feather-light, the vibrations a pleasantly subtle hum against his skin. As Jarvis grew bolder, he began to press harder into the flesh, and the charged vibrations grew in intensity. He experimentally swept a hand over Jack's left nipple and smirked when it produced the desired results: Jack gasped and arched into his hand.

[_You like that, do you?_]

"How are you doing that? I've never..." gasp at the icy tool wrapping around his hard-on, "had sex with a vibrating hologram before."

[_Oh, you call this sex, do you? My good sir, you are sorely mistaken. This..._] Jarvis grasped both of Jack's nipples and pinched, the vibrating pulse jolting through his body and making him shudder and cry out.

[_This is simply the consequence of breaking into my domain and touching my things._]

"_Clearly_ you don't know the meaning of the word punishment..." Jack panted, trembling slightly from the electric shock, grinning like a moron. "And last I checked, this was Tony's house, not yours." Jack chuckled, a fine sheen of sweat already appearing on his body.

[_He may have built it but I run and work it. What is his is mine._] Jarvis's bright blue pixelated hand reached down and grasped the hardened cock above the constrictive icy probe. At the conflicting sensations Jack moaned out loudly and squirmed desperately against the many "hands" holding him. Jarvis chuckled and slowly began to stroke him, observing the way Jack's eyes rolled to the back of his head and listening to the mewls and whimpers that gradually got higher in pitch. He leaned in and whispered low into his ear.

[_You're mine, Jack Harkness. You know this, right?_]

Jack nodded fervently.

"Uh-huh, yea."

Jarvis smiled and looked over to the mechanisms holding him.

[_Rotate 180__º__, lean whole body forward 38__º._]

Jack's heart began to race as the mechanisms moved and turned him.

[_Now Jack, I don't need to warn to to get ready, do I?_]

"No no, I'm good. More than ready." he muttered, grunting as the icy "finger" slowly stroked him.

[_Good._]

Jarvis gestured at the holograms and another arm materialized from the ceiling above. The head twisted and crept up to Jack's backside. It separated into four fingers, each fully jointed. Jarvis whistled a tune and gestured into the holograms. The arm slid forward, a single finger penetrating Jack with a low mechanical hum.

"Ah! Hey...!" he yelped.

[_Have you never been taken dry before?_]

"What...of course I have! I just..usually have warn-ah!" Jarvis didn't wait for him to finish before making the fingered probe thrust into the shuddering captain.

[_ I did warn you, remember? Not to worry, sir. I'll take good care of you._]

"Oh, yes...!" Jack hissed. Jarvis hummed in approval, and the mechanical hand inserted another finger. It's treatment grew subtly rougher with each thrust, but so far there was not a sound of complaint from Jack. On the contrary, he moaned with greater gusto than before. Struck with a sudden slip of curiosity, Jarvis circled his charge and knelt in front of him. With a gesture the ribbed probe withdrew from the straining erection and was replaced with an experimental flick of his neon blue tongue. Jack jolted in his restraints with a loud "_Fuck_!". He grinned.

[_ Did you like that?_]

"Oh my god do that again and don't stop, don't stop.." he huffed in response. He heard Jarvis chuckle and his tongue returned to him. Each eager swipe sent a mini shock through him, arching his spine. He whined piteously as he was simultaneously licked and fucked, the fingered probe prodding at his prostate.

"Jar...Jarvis..." he gasped out heatedly.

[_You're such a masochist, Jack..._] Jarvis muttered just as heatedly. [_To enjoy having your genitals electrically shocked._]

"Says the computer getting it on with a kilt-wearing Time Lord..." Jack managed to shoot back.

[_Are you this snarky with all your partners?_]

"Uhm...yes? No..oh, yes yes yes yes..!" The probes prodded his prostate again, a finger stroking circles around it while the other scissored, spreading him wider and wider. Jarvis hummed in triumph.

[_Just as I thought._] Jarvis leaned in to return his tongue to the neglected erection in his face when something made him pause. The homing beacon that linked him to the Iron Man suit signaled that he had returned. He cursed and immediately dissipated, vanishing on the spot. Jack's head spun around at the flurry of movement.

"What-" he was interrupted when _another_ of Tony's sexy robots zoomed into the room via the cavernous entryway. He watched as more mechanisms appeared and disassembled it, revealing...Tony.

"...oh that is so hot." he thought to himself.

"Jarvis I just had three, THREE Russian bombers on my ass. Tell me, just what the hell were you-" he stopped abruptly when he caught sight of Jack.

"Hi Tony." Jack said brightly, as if he wasn't just caught naked and tightly bound in the man's basement with multi-million dollar robotic machinery up his ass. Jarvis, just realizing this, quickly withdrew it.

"Jack...what did you do?" he asked slowly, like a parent would ask a child just caught next to a broken window.

"Me? Well I,um... I met Jarvis?" he offered cheerfully. "I gotta say Tony, he's hot as hell, but he's too wound up. You should _really_ let that poor bloke out more. I was checking out those really cool suits of yours and he jumped me like a weeping angel on a blind guy."

[_Molesting them was more like it. And I did not "jump" him as he so puts it. I was...just having a bit of fun...My deepest apologies, sir._]

"If this is what you do to friends, I seriously fear what you'd do to an actual intruder, Jarvis."

[_But he likes it, sir. He seriously does. Look at him, he's already about to burst himself._]

It was true. Tony approached the still-bound Jack, with the still present raging hard on. He tapped a finger to his lips thoughtfully.

"...I suppose you're right, Jarvis. Release target."

The arms binding him abruptly did just that, sending him stumbling to the floor at Tony's feet. He reached an hand out and helped Jack to his feet, pulling him into a hug.

"Lie all you want, Jack. We all know you just couldn't wait for me." he whispered into his ear.

"Yup. You caught me." Jack drew him into a deep kiss, pulling the man against himself, crushing the two together. They stayed like that for several long moments, their kiss deepening before Tony grunted impatiently and heaved Jack off his feet and onto a random table. Jarvis huffed.

[_That's it, romp away you two...I'll just sit back in the shadows and play the voyeur._] He said without even trying to hide the bitter undertone.

"Aw, Jarvis don't be like that. There's plenty of me to go around." Jack grinned up at the ceiling.

[_And_ w_hat makes you think I'd want to share?_]

"A hunch?"

[_How pretentious._]

"Jarvis shut up and get down here. You're killing the mood." Tony growled between kisses on Jack's collarbone. There was a slight hesitation before the neon pixels appeared again and reformed in front of the two, so that Jarvis was standing over Jack.

"Welcome back." Jack winked, his eyes twinkling. Jarvis smiled and reached down to stroke a finger along his throat, making him gasp as the goosebumps erupted down his body. Tony watched with interest.

"You can feel that?"

"Yea...didn't you know? Jarvis' a living taser."

"I...did not know that."

"It's. AWESOME. Jarvis, poke him."

[_I will do no such thing. Such a high electrical current would devastate his innards._]

"_Fine. _More for me." he grinned**, **reaching up to grasp Jarvis's hips, frowning when his hands went right through. Apparently it was a one-way-window.

"Hey..."

"Here, here." Tony snatched a tiny box and tossed it to him. "Put these on your fingers. It's what I use to use the holo's."

"Neat." Jack grinned and opened it, revealing tiny little circular diodes. He quickly put them on his fingers.

[_Is this really necessary? What are you planning to do?_]

Jack smirked at him, stuck out his tongue, and dabbed a diode on it.

"Let's find out together. C'mere, Jarvis." and he curled a finger at him. Tony chuckled.

"Give him hell."

[_Gladly, sir._] He muttered before allowing Jack to pull him down into a heated kiss. Tony peeked up for a moment at the sight. It was one of the most bizarre and erotic things he had ever seen. Jack grasped the back of Jarvis' head to deepen their kiss with a hum. Not wanting to be ignored, Tony flicked his tongue on Jack's nipple before biting down and pulling it, making the man below him yelp and lurch on the desk. He giggled and did the same to the other one before traveling back down his chest. His hands began to wander, stroking down his sides to his waist, then going even further down his thigh, his right eventually hooking underneath and curling Jack's leg up and resting it on the other's shoulder.

[_Sir, we should change positions. I can't_ _do much like this. Make him sit up_]

"I got a better idea. Jack, bend over the desk."

"Okey dokie." He obeyed immediately.

"Now suck him off."

[_What?_] "What?" Both Jack and Jarvis blurted at the same time.

"You heard me. You can do it, can't you?"

Jack looked over his shoulder with a comically high eyebrow.

"Did you _really_ just ask that?"

"Don't talk back." Tony snapped, bring a hand across his ass with a sharp _fwap_. Jack yelped and giggled maniacally.

"Ok, ok!" he went to undo Jarvis' 'pants' when they suddenly disappeared in a flurry of blue. He gazed at what stood before him.

"." No joking. Jarvis had made himself huge. Jack went to lick the tip when something caught his eye. A small glimmer, shining more brightly than the rest of the rest of the body. He stared at it intently before he realized...

"Holy shit, he's got a pierced cock."

"He what? "

"Look." Jarvis sighed impatiently as Tony peered over Jack's head.

"Jesus, Jarvis. What kind of porn have you been downloading?"

[_The kind that teaches a hologram how to have three-way sex with humans and the kind that doesn't have so many interruptions._]

"Still doesn't explain the piercing."

"Who cares? It's hot. Will you show me this porn?"

[_That depends on your actions, doesn't it Mr. Harkness?_]

"Oh my god I love this guy." he gushed to no one in particular. He grasped the buzzing erection of said guy between his lips and pressed with his tongue. He then began to explore it, getting the feel of it, practically studying it with his tongue. Jarvis tilted his head back and groaned. It was by far the most bizarre thing he had ever done, but normalcy be damned as far as he was concerned.

[_That's it Jack...eat it up...you love it._]

"Mmmhmf." Jack mumbled as he leaned forward, sucking in Jarvis inch by blessed inch. He simply couldn't get enough of it, for reasons unknown. Perhaps it was because it had been so long since he had experienced a first since he discovered the pleasure that could be squeezed from an erection. So to speak. Jarvis was pulsing in his mouth, making him grip harder, moan louder, get harder. Of course Tony wasn't at all forgotten either. The man was behind then, now apparently nude. His hardness was pressed to the inside of Jack's thighs as he crouched over his bare back, nibbling his shoulder, watching his Jarvis disappear into Jack's mouth.

The sight of the two made a shiver run down his spine and he rocked his hips, stroking his cock with Jack's legs. His hands grasped the meaty ass that wiggled for him, frequently digging his nails in hard enough to leave tiny red crescents.

[_Jack...more._] Jarvis moaned. He shuddered violently, making the lights throughout the entire house to flicker. It was left unnoticed by the three. Tony was so far lost watching his companions, the pitiful grinding no longer helpful.

"Dammit...Jack raise your ass a bit." he muttered gruffly, grabbing his hips even as he said it and arranging them himself. He gave not a moment notice before he pushed in, not even bothering to lube or prepare him. Jack cried out and jolted upright, his breathe jumping from him. Jarvis chuckled.

[_See? There's reason to my madness.._]

Jack moaned loudly as Tony set a slow but deep pace, his head drooping into Jarvis' s lap.

"Oh god yea...fuck me deep...hard.."

[_Oh no you don't._] Jarvis grabbed Jack roughly by the hair and lifted his face back to his erection. [_This does not warrant a break. Get back to work_]

"Y-yes sir." he gasped and sucked it back in, moaning loudly around it, now _his_ throat vibrating around Jarvis. Both of them let out a strange sound, and the lights buzzed and flickered again. Jarvis thrust into the mouth, but by now Jack was too distracted to give him the complete undivided attention he wanted.

[_Sir,_] he purred, leaning in and catching Tony's gaze from centimeters away, [_it seems our guest is failing on my end. Could you be so kind as to pick up the pace and help him out?_]

Tony grinned from behind sweaty bangs.

"With pleasure." he whispered. His hands tightened around Jack's hip considerably, and with a sharp snap of his hips he sent Jack forward, forcing the rest of Jarvis down his throat. The computer gasped, and the lights brightened throughout the house, then shivered weakly. Electronics buzzed and sparked. The televisions switched through random channels at an alarming rate. By now the men noticed, but were beyond caring. All that mattered now was the passion of the three inside a ultra modern basement.

"Oh fuck I'm already gonna cum.." Jack groaned, his speech reduced to muffled gibberish from the constant thrusting down Jarvis's shaft. Tony groaned in agreement, forever surprised by Jack's tightness. He soon lost his rhythm and his pace became more erratic.

[_Both of you are such-_] Jarvis's attempted snark was lost when he suddenly gasped and moaned loudly in his climax. The force of his orgasm caused every light bulb in the entire mansion to explode, every appliance to short out. Jack started, which in turn tightened his hole around Tony, who was left shuddering and groaning above him.

"Jack..!" he gasped hoarsely. With one last grunt he rammed into him as hard as he could, making him scream and also brutally shoving _him_ over the edge.

"FUCK!" his voice echoed through the room. As they panted limply on the desk, Jarvis dissolved.

[_I couldn't...hold it anymore..._]

"Not to worry..." Jack panted. "So what were you gonna call us...before you came and blew out the lights?"

[_Oh shut up._] He snapped. Tony laughed weakly.

"He's right..You are so lucky this house has four backup systems... Jack, we can't do this often though..."

"I know.." his breath evened out, and he rolled over to hug him.

"Nice seeing you again, Tony."

Tony smiled and kissed his forehead.

"You too."

Jack looked up at the dark ceiling.

"And Jarvis I absolutely love you! Don't be a stranger next time, eh?"

[_Sorry Jack. But I find that only delinquents are worth my time._]

"Well then, I'll keep that in mind then, eh? Maybe I'll come over in a ski mask."

[_One could only hope._] he replied dryly.

As they boarded the ship, Jack followed a stumbling Ianto into the control room before shouting out to the rest of the crew: "Hey guys! Guess where I found our ickle Ianto with a gorgeous drag queen?"

Yea. It's true. I saw Iron Man and my first thought was how hot Jack would be with Jarvis.


End file.
